Friday, April 30, 2010

Looks inviting doesn't it?

These are just ramblings... I thought I would just type and see what comes out... sorta interesting to me... don't know what you'll think.  Perhaps you should give it a try.  It's very cathartic.

• So many people do things that hurt others…intentionally, not intentionally; they do it from the heart, from the gut, from spite, from love, from here to there. I used to think it was only where I lived. Everywhere else, things were always good except in bad places… like where there were wars or hunger or other bad things….Now I know, bad things happen all over the world and so do good things… good things we just take for granted… we say we’re gonna live our lives to the fullest but we don’t. WE have lots of good saying and spout them like a running faucet but we don’t really hear ourselves. WE just like to blab.

• A good friend once said “why do they lie when telling the truth would serve them better.” I never came up with an answer for that, I believed it but I didn’t have an answer… I lie sometimes… that’s a lie. I lie all the time. I lie when I say that someone looks nice, I just say it to let the person know I noticed. Is that a lie? Is that me just trying to be nice or to get them to like me?

• Ramble Ramble Ramble… my mind really is like a train…it just keeps going. What if we could know what people really were thinking? The answer most assuredly would be that we really didn’t want to know. God that would be bad. That would be really bad. What if everyone always had bad thoughts? You have to clear your mind to hear what your heart is saying. Clear your head. Go do tai chi, watch the sky at night time. Go lie in the grass and watch clouds pass by. Take time to smell the roses, even if you don’t like the way they smell. Just take some time to do something that will slow you down. The Grapes of Wrath is a classic because it slows you down. You don’t have a choice. At some point it seems like the whole world slowed to a snails pace and I was left holding my breath… just holding it inside myself.

• Don’t hold on to anything. Let everything go. Holding on holds you hostage. Will we ever be able to slow down? Wait till the kids leave, you’ll slow down then. You’ll slow way down and some evening you’ll look out the bathroom window to check if their car is parked in the street where they always park and it won’t be there and you’ll wonder where the time went. How did it go this fast? Where was I when all this was happening? How did I let it go without going with it? How can my kids be so mature and on their own and now I feel like I’m not only on my own but on my …alone.

Oh shit. 
Peace out...

No comments: