Somewhere in my piles of inspirational readings/quotes/really cool cards, I have a clip from a Nike ad. It keeps calling me to find it, but I just can't lay my hands on it. It goes something like this.... "Why are we so hard on ourselves and so easy on everyone else? We ask more of ourselves than humanly possible. We expect ourselves to do more than we'd ever ask another fellow traveler to do. We hate our bodies, we love the model in the magazine, knowing they are not real, the woman may be real but what we see is not. (I've watched that Dove commercial.) When we eat something we really really want to eat and enjoy it...4 minutes later we say we just "cheated" on our diet. We are losers, and not of weight but in strength, willpower. We want a perfect life, perfect children, a perfect home and the perfect job. When are we going to give ourselves the breaks we give everyone else? Let's stop doing this to ourselves. Let's JUST DO IT!"
Well, that's not at all what it says, but it is what it's saying. This year I got myself a book. It's my treat to myself. It's called The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo and it's lovely and because I'm open to it, it's showing me all sorts new window and doors to open. I am not asking so much of myself anymore. I am learning to be content with what I am and what I do. This doesn't mean I'm bringing on the "lazy", it means I'm going to stop being so disappointed in what I haven't done or finished or started.
One of my major issues would be holding on to things not worth holding on to. I am the queen of flogging the dead horse. Cherie...let it go! How hard is this? The strange part of this is that what most would consider "the BIG STUFF" I have no problem letting go of. It's that incessant plebeian crap that stands in my line for a good whipping. How many times can you rerun an argument with your sister? It happened... it's over. No...not me. I can play that tape over and over until the tape breaks from wear. I am going to work on letting go of things that I need to let go of.
In the same river but a different stream, would be my wonderful ability to feel that I am secretly what is wrong with my friends or loved ones. What did I do? What can I do to fix this? Why are they mad at me now? Why is it so easy for me to assume responsibility for all the wrongs and suffering I see around me? For the love Cherie, LET IT GO!
So here it is...all this work is exhausting. We all need work...on ourselves, for ourselves. I hugged myself today, not for being so incredibly good looking(as usual) but because today, I needed one and then I let it go. I hope this has you thinking about what you're going to do. Remember we are here to live out loud. There is nothing for you by sitting it out. You have to jump in and with both feet. I don't expect too much from you, but I'm pretty sure you'll do that on your own.
We could never have guessed. We were already blessed where we are. James Taylor
Peace Out my wee-est of wees!